You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
