dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
