All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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