is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
