he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
