So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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