My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
