so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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