Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
40s are totally the cure
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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