: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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