I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
