It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
BRING THE BAGELS
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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