What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize