Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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