You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
