new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize