Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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