Can i not drive my cunt home
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
