you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
