Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
