I have demons in me.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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