Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I can text with my tongue
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
