he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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