He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
