Don't you send me to vm
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
