dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
