Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
