Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
