Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
