Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
