this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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