this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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