If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
