I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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