i just sent this text using only my big toe
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
