where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
