i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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