but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
