I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
