Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
