Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she woke up with a sticky ear
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
