i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
