I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
