Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Houston, we have a blender
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
