i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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