Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
