I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
home. puking in laundry basket.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Randomize
