he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I think your dad took our porno
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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