so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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