is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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