Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
