Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
