somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Randomize
