I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
