and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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