this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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