I bet he comes in French.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize