I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
