Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
