I feel like I'm in dance class right now
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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