fuck your aforementioned shoe
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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