one might say we're banned from that church
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
not ubering you a puppy
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
